Dear Memorial Day

It's time to set some boundaries

because, let's face it, you aren't

a premium holiday not even

in the top five.

At midnight we won't ring you in,

there will be no wrapped gifts or

festive songs. No turkey dinner

and definitely no pumpkin pie.

Don't bother to wear a costume

everyone knows who you are

and no fireworks are scheduled.

Just so you know forgetting is too

easy. Every year it's the same.

Fine.

Have it your way.

We consent to play softball

and have a three-legged race.

Perhaps some volleyball?

Wait a minute you want

dancing and a cake?

Okay.

You win again.

Next year don't bother coming

here again. Because we don't need

your kind of holiday.