A poem by an April Fool
Please read all Fertilizer poems with an extreme country accent.
Example: Mr Hainey on Green Acres
I DON'T THINK I'S DOING THAT RIGHT!
I wanted to go to the beach, so my wife bought me a Speedo.
You know, a lil' tight swimmin' trunk.
When I wore it down there, them folks laughed at me.
I's so embarrassed, I wanted to run off and become a monk.
But my friend July said,
"Nah, just put you a tater in them lil' britches".
Well I tried it, they laughed even harder.
I mean I left them folks in stitches.
So I's real mad,
when I caught up with July later.
But then he told me in the FRONT,
Was where I'd supposed to put that tater.
I DON'T THINK I'S DOING THAT RIGHT!
My wife told me raw oysters in the shell, was a real aphrodisiac.
I said, " gesundheit ".
She said, " Nah, they's supposed to help us be frisky".
"You know, later on in the night"
Well we tried it , and I said ,
" Darlin' was that any good for you?"
She said, " I don't think this could be good for anybody",
But what else could I do?
I was all scratched up and tender
From them dammed ol'' shells
She was wincing and fidgeting
Like she'd been sitting on nails
I DON'T THINK I'S DOING THAT RIGHT!
I told that blonde haired, blue eyed Darlin' of mine, I's gonna buy us a condominium.
She said good, cause she's tired of using that diagram.
You see as parents,
we didn't figure either of us would be worth a damn.
But something caught,
And her belly got BIG and round.
Did you know, when that baby came out,
He was nappy headed and his skin was real dark brown?
I DON'T THINK I'S DOING THAT RIGHT!
Well it's funny how things turn out,
I said so just the other day.
Cause my boy Junior looks just like my next door neighbor,
A nice feller named Diondre'
When I'm at work and Junior's in school,
He'll even keep my wife company.
He's brought her down to the job site
So she can get beer money from me.
He's been there for us,
I mean no matter the hour
When I had to work late, I called home,
He told me she's in the shower.
I DON'T THINK I'S... NAH!